Aikido cultural norms are obstacles off the mat

While Aikido has lofty aims of promoting peace and harmony, its internal behavioral norms are, in important ways, out of sync with the goal of establishing robust conflict-resolution practices in verbal or linguistic domains of action.

This is especially evident where Aikido has been transplanted into cultures that tolerate verbal interpersonal conflict, and that support the development of verbal skills to manage and resolve conflicts. In such cultures this disconnect can lead to confusion and ineffectiveness when students seek to apply Aikido principles in their problem-solving and conflict-management behavior off the mat, especially with one another.

As a martial art and the product of Japanese culture, Aikido promotes within its practice communities behavioral norms biased toward non-verbal conflict management and unilateral strategies for saving face both for one's self and for others. To bluntly challenge another, especially a superior, can be interpreted as disrespect. Yet, for example in the US, such strategies are often seen as evasive, duplicitous, and disingenuous (this does not mean people in the US do not act this way; I think they do despite perhaps a greater espoused tolerance for open verbal conflict). Acting according to these indirect strategies in the US often leads to increasing mistrust, as people grow to expect that the spoken message is a distortion or contradiction of the real message which remains unspoken.

Specifically, I think that the culture of Aikido maintains norms of behavior that make it difficult to communicate assessments -- especially critical ones -- validly and authentically with other Aikido people, especially Aikidoka of higher rank or of other styles. While acting in ways that purportedly show respect for the art and for one's sempais and teachers, students are motivated unilaterally to do or say things aimed at saving themselves and others from embarrassment.

In Aikido training we are taught that committed, unambiguous physical attacks are good, and that hesitant or uncommitted attacks are bad and even dangerous. Yet on the verbal level we do not practice this way with one another. Instead, we tend not to speak forthrightly what we are thinking if it means disagreeing with or challenging the position of another, especially if the other is a sempai on the mat.

To complicate the picture further, there is ample reason to accept and follow the notion of keeping quiet and withholding assessments while on the mat, and concerning matters of training. Aikido is a difficult art for westerners to grasp both conceptually and physically. Humility is a virtue for students who wish to begin and continue learning, and usually withholding assessments in order to discuss issues discretely later with sempai or teachers can be a wise choice.

However, this on-the-mat virtue can become an off-the-mat liability when Aikidoka interact on matters not directly pertaining to aikido practice, such as making business arrangements for seminars, organizing member dojo associations, performing administrative duties, and doing tactical or strategic planning at dojo or association level. The norms of speaking and listening that we get used to practicing with one another on the mat tend to remain in use when we address one another off the mat, and so the circumspect, overly polite manners we properly practice in training become our default behavioral guides in other, verbal domains. A common result is that a stagnant status quo is upheld for want of authentic debate. Off the mat conversations may very well be better served by increasingly frank challenges among those who disagree or have concerns and positions incompatible with those of others in the conversation.

Just as physical training requires committed, honest attacks; verbal exchanges on difficult issues are often well served by blunt, honest give and take. Indeed, for peace and harmony to be restored there must be some kind of open conflict to give people something to work with.

I feel that this relationship between Aikido cultural norms and the way we actually behave with one another off the mat is an issue worth addressing out in the open. I believe that continuing to accept the apparent disconnect between our espoused Aiki values of resolving harmony out of honest physical aggression and our established off-the-mat verbal norms of avoiding direct conflict is a detriment to the art and an obstacle to its continued growth around the world.

Moreover, for those Aikidoka who wish to transfer aikido principles into the realm of conflict resolution for non-martial artists in everyday life, to maintain linguistic practices that inhibit authentic verbal exchanges will become a tremendous obstacle to their success.

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Comments

[Bryan]

I the States, I might agree, but in Japan, those cultural aspects are still alive and kicking. Also, I think in the States some of it can be applicable. I think it's good for Americans, who are generally used to the in-your-face style of communication, to learn to use a little ambiguity... maybe that's just me.

The Japanese have no trouble, and in fact, traditionally are two faced -- they have two versions of truth: tatemae and hon'ne or public and private truth. So I don't think the Japanese have any problem with interactive modes on-the-mat and off-the-mat being completely different.

Of course if you take any time to really look at the bureaucracy in Japan you'll see that the two versions of truth -- among other traditional practices previously necessitated by the drive to "preserve the wa" or harmony of social relationships -- add layers and layers of red tape. It affects the very cognition of some long-time bureaucrats where they develop a defined expectation of what you must say or more importantly how you say it in order to be approved for something or other.

I can see I've gone off on a huge tangent but I am at work, where ambiguous social rules are all encompassing. Although my aikido training has helped me develop ways of being straightforward and honest without being too overly offensive, I wish more than anything that half of the administrative people in Boards of Education in Japan would practice that more direct method of communication.

So, in short, I feel your pain -- I see where you're coming from, and in Japan, it's even more of a problem. People cultivate their ability to be as ambiguous as possible, skating around issues and avoiding conflict where sometimes the issue should be dealt with and if conflict arises, it can be dealt with swiftly rather than putting the issue off for another hour, another day, another week, another month. Oh yes... it can be frustrating.

[Coleman Ridge]

It can be deeply frustrating, particularly in business meetings, to work with someone determined to avoid conflict at all costs, but there are circumstances where the trait is invaluable. In any enterprise where there is not much slack, and in which just keeping going on together is more important than anything else, conflict avoidance is pretty much essential. In a family where one can't stomp off to one's room for a couple of hours because no one has their own room, and because everyone has to be on deck all the time, you don't want ever to fight toe to toe. Similarly in a small dojo where everyone comes every class. Any given conflict will shake down eventually, so long as everyone can just keep going along together; but any outright conflict might make it impossible to go on together.

What aikido can teach, if one studies it right, is to see the moment of mutual clarity when you can talk with another person without fighting. It will also teach one to see the moment of weakness at which they can be manipulated, but decent people don't take those opportunities, except in emergencies.

[Jeff Dooley]

Whether or not to die on a particular hill is definitely a judgement call. You do always want to pick your battles.

However, I have seen established dojos disintegrate to ashes because built-up issues were covered up over years. In these cases they were unable, beneath the weight of layers of perceived injustices and assessments of prejudice stemming from poorly handled dojo business matters, to keep "going on together."

Additionally I have seen at least one Aikido dojo association reorganized in part because the long histories and old grudges among the higher-ups were unable to be aired out frankly and forthrightly.

These kinds of failures could perhaps be avoided if we weren't so programmed to hide the way we actually feel under polite smiles, but were encouraged to speak more forthrightly. Of course, this takes a particular skill set which is lacking in most Aikidoka as it is lacking in the general population. Yet, good faith attempts could be made, however faltering, if clearing the air was made more of a priority.

Coleman, you make a good point in suggesting that a given conflict can be worked out on the mat over time. This is a really good way to do it in some cases, especially among students of various rank. But sometimes the instructors are involved in creating and sustaining conflict situations, and it's difficult, because of the dilemma of needing to show respect for teachers, to process grievances associated with Senseis. It is especially difficult when there are grievances among Senseis of different dojos or styles. These problems can cast a shadow over decades of relations between dojos and groups withing larger associations.

This latter category of problems and grudges is, I think, an especially serious obstacle to the healthy growth of Aikido. It certainly inhibits good cross pollination of stylistic elements that may help the art not become too inbred within particular styles.

[Bryan]

Jeff,

You might be interested in reading a recent article by Gaku Homma Sensei that talks about how Hitohiro Sensei has, in the time since his father's death "faced many challenges head on that he could run or hide from."

I just ran across it the other day and it really resonated with the points you made in your post. When I reread your writing, I started thinking about how some dojos and some Sensei express aikido as very circular movements, while Hitohiro Sensei and Tatoian Sensei -- and Saito Sensei, I've heard -- have, time and again, reminded us that aikido is often about efficiency of movement and that a straight line is often the best choice rather than a circuitous route. . . it's one way Iwama style tends to differ from many of the 'softer' styles.

Just a thought... :) Here's a link to the article by Homma Sensei:

http://www.nippon-kan.org/senseis_articles/04_over_the_pass/over_the_pass.html

[Masur]

The more aiki we have in our lives, the less threatening receiving a direct approach in conflict becomes for us.

That said, most all of us are still in various stages of living that aiki, and some people we will communicate with will doubtless be very far from accomplishing it.

I think the most pragmatic rule of thumb to follow is that the more public the venue of communication, the less direct the approach to conflict. The more private the venue, the more direct the approach.

If they can't take a direct though private approach, the pragmatic understanding is that their ego is in the way and there to stay. Now you have to decide if it's better to walk away, or worth it to take the last step by publicly and directly addressing the issue, understanding that doing the latter will make them hostile and defensive if they couldn't deal with the direct approach privately.

All this done with the understanding of 'minimal necessary force'.

I've never seen a better, more realistic approach to communication; if you have, I'd love to learn it from you.

[Linx]

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[Alessandro]

Would an Aikidoka be able to prevent a wrietlsng shoot to the legs?Yes, by keeping his distance and getting the hell out of there the first chance he gets.What does an Aikidoka do if he is wrestled to the ground?Try to reverse the takedown attempt and then push off and get the hell out of there.Does he have any Aikido priniciples or techniques to apply if he finds himself on his back in a groundfight?If you end up on the ground, then you did not follow the Aikido principles nor properly apply the techniques in the first place. And no, as far as I know, there are no Aikido techniques for ground fighting. Best you can do is scramble and try to get up and away as fast as you can.

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[gayathri]

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